CHAPTER 30: Laila

Summary

The next day, Laila stays in bed all day. When Rasheed returns home, he shows her the new clothes he has bought for the wedding and his new haircut. He also shows her the new wedding band and explains that he had been able to buy it, because he head traded in Mariam's wedding band. Laila says she cannot take it like that, but Rasheed says Mariam will never miss it. He also says that he will take her into a tailor and have her fitted for a wedding gown. Laila quickly insists she doesn't want to wait. He smiles a yellow, toothy grin and says, Eager, in response.

Even before Abdul Sharif's visit, Laila had thought she would go to Pakistan in search of Tariq. After the bad news, she still thought she might go and detach herself from this horrible city where every street corner is a trap, where every alley hides a ghost that springs at her like a jack-in-the-box. But now, leaving is no longer an option. She has continued to retch daily, there is a new fullness to her breasts, and she has missed a cycle. She imagines herself in a refugee camp with her and Tariq's baby wasting away and dying. How can she run now? How can she jeopardize the only thing left of her old life? She believes she is probably six weeks pregnant, so she can't wait any longer or Rasheed will grow suspicious.

Laila remotely remembers bits and pieces of the wedding ceremony, mostly the realization that somewhere in the room, Mariam is watching, the air choking with her disapproval. Laila knows that this is spectacularly unfair to Mariam, but her fears for her baby push her onward. Later, lying beneath the sheets of Rasheed's bed, Laila is aware of his age, his ugly body, and his agitation. When he looks at her there, he says, God help me, I think I love you. She accepts his lovemaking with chattering teeth and once he is asleep she pulls a knife from the mattress where she had hidden it earlier. She cuts her own thumb pad and allows her finger to bleed a few drops on the sheets where they had lain together.

Notes

The reader now knows the real reason why Laila accepts Rasheed's proposal: she is pregnant with Tariq's baby. In a country where she could be murdered for this shame and in a country so torn by war that her baby might die, she has no choice. However, she takes care to make it look like it is Rasheed's child even though she knows what she is doing to Mariam is unbelievably unfair.

CHAPTER 31: Mariam

Summary

For a long time, all Laila is to Mariam is the creaking of a bedspring or a patter of footsteps overhead, but inevitably they would run into each other. There is an awkward tension rushes into the space between them. Sometimes she can smell Rasheed on her, his tobacco, his appetite. Their orchestrated avoidance, however, cannot be possible once Rasheed is home from work. He insists they are a family and they will sit down together for dinner. He hates it that they won't speak and wonders if they are a pair of statues. When Mariam won't speak, he says that she is a harami, and her quietness is a blessing although he concedes that she is a good worker and has no pretensions. He compares her to a Volga, a sturdy, ugly Russian car. On the other hand, he says Lalila is a Benz and that one must take certain care of a Benz in respect for its beauty. He uses this as an excuse to impose on Laila the same rules he imposes on Mariam: she must not leave the house without him, and she must wear a burqa. He also tells her that Mariam will be her servant and will fetch anything she might need when he is not there to go with her himself. He calls her the malika of the house, but says that if she doesn't follow the rules, Mariam will be his eyes and ears and will be accountable if there is a slipup. His judgments rains down on them like the rockets of Kabul.

One day, while Mariam is folding the wash, Laila appears and apologizes for startling her. Mariam can tell she is nervous and after a tentative attempt to make small talk, Laila begins to apologize for what Rasheed had said the other night. Before she can say what she feels, Mariam interrupts and forcefully states that she will not be Laila's servant even if the girl complains to Rasheed and he slits her throat. She also will not allow Laila to have her cast out, and she won't nurse her. Furthermore, Laila must take up her share of the housework. The whole time Mariam surprises herself by speaking out so blatantly, Laila tried to insert her words of agreement to this and that what Rasheed had said was wrong. However, Mariam will not listen and tells Laila that she has no intention of putting up with her company ever. Then, she makes Laila put Rasheed's laundry away while Laila says she is sorry. Mariam can only say to that, You should be. You should be sorry.

Notes

Rasheed's deliberately cruel comparison of Mariam as a Volga and Laila a Benz fuels Mariam's dislike for the young girl who she feels has usurped her place in the house. She ultimately stands up for herself even though Laila makes it clear she agrees more with Mariam than Rasheed.